


AAW 2016: Demisexual Laurel Lance meta

by Nocticola



Series: Nocti's meta [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Ace writer, Asexual Awareness Week, Gen, Meta, demisexual headcanons, demisexual laurel lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9264653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: Thoughts on demisexual Laurel Lance, basis of at least one fic I plan to write, soonish.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally from tumblr http://nocticola.tumblr.com/post/153402866341/10-images-of-katie-cassidy-as-laurel-lance-cap for AAW 2016 fandom challenge.
> 
> Deals with most of Laurel's possible romantic relationships. Note I ship Lauriver, so that's there in the background. This isn'rt very complex but whatever, I'm gonna write demi!Laurel hopefully soonish.

So, demisexual Laurel Lance thoughts:

Demisexual!Laurel Lance is an important headcanon for me, because I first ran into the idea at arrowmeta tumblr during mid-S2(1) when I had started to consider whether I might be an the ace-spectrum. I eventually started identifying as demisexual, which is why I look for demi readings of my faves lol. Anyway, the fact is, Laurel ended up only having 2 proper relationships, both of which were with people she had known ‘forever’, Oliver and Tommy. They never gave them a complete timeline, but it can be assumed that Oliver and Laurel were together from high school and through Laurel’s undergrad years, although it was not necessarily a stable relationship, because young!Oliver was an immature asshole cheater. But they loved each other and Laurel considered Oliver to be the love of her life. She thought so even when Tommy was still alive (jsyk).

The only other person we know for sure Laurel had romantic/sexual feelings for was Tommy. They started out of mutual grief and developed into something proper once Oliver came back and everybody got to deal with some grief and other feelings. But they weren’t very stable because Tommy didn’t trust Laurel, so. This isn’t meant to rank her relationship btw, but I am still Lauriver trash against my better judgment.

So, relationships between people who were first friends is basically the defining aspects of demisexuality (granted, it requires an emotional bond that is not necessarily friendship, and it seems that there is a specific term amicus/amicasexual/-romantic for requiring friendship to develop romantic feelings but I’m going with demisexual here anyway). The fact that the writers sidelined her so much after S1, including rejecting her as love interest to Oliver or giving her a proper one of her own* after S1, makes it somewhat difficult to fully know how she experiences attraction, but the fact that her (lack of) love life never seemed to affect her plays into the idea that she does not necessarily put much thought into it or require romantic love to be happy (well, as happy as she could be with her life and the writers hating her). I don’t think she really pined for Oliver during S2-4x18 but I do think there were some leftover feelings that waned and strengthened with Oliver’s behavior. IDK, there was often an undercurrent (which I’ll make a photoset at some point) but they are friends first and foremost and their relationship was important for both of them. IDK what this has to do with the actual post but sometimes I get Lauriver feels. I always have Laurel feels.

*So, the kinda love interests, let’s talk about them. I guess a lot of these had to do with actor availability, I know it was the case with Ted Grant and possibly Adam Donner, but lack of proper love interests for Laurel is a fascinating issue. On the one hand, you can better headcanon her as ace spec; female characters who are not defined by their (lack of) love lives are very rare, she had lots of other issues and relationships which I am grateful for; but on a genre and network as obsessed with romance as superhero shows on the CW, not giving her a love interest is part of her sidelining. It seemed that they might develop something between her and her boss Adam Donner, but then he betrayed her and was gone. I was worried they would have something develop between her and Sebastian Blood, having her date a villain without her knowledge (which is gross!) but then they had her be the only one to figure out Sebastian was a villain but then they used that to shit on her because no one believed her (which is differently gross! ableisticly gross). The de-aged Ted Grant might have been good for Laurel, but the actor got a better job and we still don’t know for sure whether he died or not during the fight against Brick (I’m pretty sure were supposed to assume he lived but was that ever clarified?). Apparently they thought about maybe developing Laurel/Nyssa romantically but decided against it because too much significant other switching between the Lance sisters *sigh*. That could have been an interesting relationship. Laurel deserves all the love. Which is why I have decided to ship Laurel/Mari aka Black Vixen. 

What I most like about this headcanon that although Laurel suffered from depression and addiction, she is a normal person and doesn’t have social interaction issues that I admittedly often use as if not basis then to strengthen my ace spectrum headcanons. She is a normal person who just does not worry about her love life and that is rather refreshing. But I also would have loved if there had been more people who loved her like she deserved. That list basically starts and ends with Thea Queen.

Anyway, demisexual!Laurel Lance is important to me, I’ll fight you over it.

(1) http://nocticola.tumblr.com/post/93984880516/laurel-as-demisexual

This tag doesn’t have much but still: http://nocticola.tumblr.com/tagged/demisexual-laurel+lance


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Character development questions for ace-spectrum characters, for the purposes of my demisexual Laurel fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rough draft version of my answers. Written for the purpose of thinking about how Laurel experiences her demisexuality/aceness to get in the mood/figure stuff out for the fic I am currently writing.

1\. Do they know they’re asexual? (There is so little awareness of asexuality, that many of us don’t ever realize it.)

I think they do. In my fic, not at the start but I plan on writing a realization chapter.

2\. If so, how did they figure it out?  
Laurel's sister Sara is bisexual, so depending on when Sara came out to Laurel, I think she would look up information on how to be an ally and ends up finding out about asexuality, possibly even demisexuality, I need to check the timing. 

3\. Do they consider themselves queer and/or LGBT+? (Hetero-romantic and aromantic asexuals are less likely to do so. Homo-romantic, biromantic and panromantic asexuals may identify as gay, bi or pan.)  
I think they do? I'm not sure if that is because they're also biromantic (I am somewhat fond of that idea) or because Sara would encourage her to consider herself as part of not-straight club. If she figures it out at college or law school, might use the q-word.   
4\. If they don’t know they’re asexual, what DO they think they are? Do they have any idea? (They may identify based on their romantic orientation instead, or just be really confused.)  
I think she assumed she was straight who just wasn't really into dating and all that before she falls for Oliver and later figures out the rest of it.  
5\. Have they experienced abuse, bad relationships, social anxiety, or other factors that might make them doubt whether they’re “really” asexual or not? (Remember that asexuality is not the same as being repressed, shy, or afraid of sex.)  
Hm, the fic I am writing is very much about her dealing with her most important romantic relationship which was very messy and included cheating, which I think she somewhat considers her fault for being demi (poor baby) and she definitely has an abandoning mother, emotionally abusive father and well, Sara has her flaws as a sister. So she's not without relationship issues but she might think aceness is the cause of some issues, not that she herself isn't ace.  
6\. What’s their romantic orientation?  
Hetro or biromantic, I haven't decided yet.  
7\. Is it clearly defined? (It can be hard to tell, especially for aromantic-spectrum people.)  
I think she is alloromantic, and while she does have some 'oh, i'm feeling this, for that person?' feelings/thoughts, I think she's pretty clear on that. Although, again, there is the issue whether she's het or biromantic, so maybe, idk.   
8\. Is it fluid?  
I think it's always allo.  
9\. Are they sex-repulsed, sex-indifferent, or sex-enjoying? (Asexual people who actively enjoy sex are a small group, but they do exist.)  
Sex-indifferent on the whole (she never really worries about her love or sex life and seems perfectly fine being alone), sex-favorable in a relationship (I prefer that term, not sure how old these questions are, terminology changes)  
10\. Are there some kinds of physical intimacy other than sex that they enjoy? Do they like being touched, or are they touch-averse?  
She's very touchy feely, she loves hugging people and otherwise comforting them. 

11\. Are they willing to make sexual compromises in an intimate relationship with a non-asexual person? How often, and how far are they willing to go? Would they be bothered if their partner wanted to seek sexual intimacy elsewhere?  
Very bothered. She's sex favorable within a relationship, so she is fine with sex overall, but it is possible she feels like she wasn't enough in relationships in general and with her experiences with Oliver, she wants monogamy. Her relationship with Oliver is complicated though because he cheats and she forgives it to an extent, but a lot of the overall picture of their relationship is pre-series, so that's complicated.   
12\. Are they demisexual or gray-asexual, or neither?  
Totally demi.  
13\. How confident are they about their sexual orientation?  
Once she figures it out, I think she would be very confident, finding comfort in a label and knowing that other people are like her, that she's normal for being the way she is.

14\. Do they feel alienated or ashamed of their sexuality? (Many asexual people grow up thinking something is wrong with them; even after discovering what asexuality is, they may still feel pretty bad about it.)  
Well, yeah. She has a friend, Joanna, who thinks she should go out more, try to meet new people in ways that are not necessarily suitable for Laurel. There are also probably some conflicts between bisexual Sara and demi Laurel, since those experiences can be quite different. Especially since Sara also wanted Oliver, and think she "lost" Oliver to Laurel must add some conflict to the situation. 

15\. How do they respond to sexuality in other people and the media? Are they oblivious, amused, creeped out, bored, annoyed, disgusted or fascinated? Or a combination of several of those?  
She's mostly fine. She doesn't much care for that stuff herself but she's fine with it. Maybe frustrated by the prevalence but I don't think she necessarily has sex repulsion issues.

16\. Are they familiar with asexual jargon and the asexual community?  
I think they would be. Finding a community that understands would be important for her. Besides, you don't really find out about demisexuality without being in the community.

17\. If they’re religious, how does religion influence how they think about their sexuality?  
I don't think she ever mentions god, although she does attend a 12 step program, but I really can't say anything else to this.

18\. Are they sex-positive toward other people’s sexualities?  
Absolutely. She's happy for Sara and is always positive towards Oliver's other relationships. (Except when it relates to cheating on her or reminding her of said cheating)

19\. How has asexuality affected their sexual history, dating life, and relationships with their peers?  
It is implied that she has only really been with Oliver and Tommy, and after she was removed as Oliver's love interest she was never explicitly given another one. So, she pretty much hasn't dated much but she also doesn't show much interest in that overall. She always works a lot, so she doesn't even have time for much and like I mentioned, Joanna definitely thinks she should try to date more. So, she is pretty typical demi, I guess.  
20\. How has asexuality affected their relationship with their family? Has it created conflict?  
I mentioned that there might have been issues between her and Sara because of a lack of understanding but other than that, she has shitty parents who don't actually care about her, so I'm not she even would be out to them and her father would just rather call her a gold digger and judge her choice of men rather than really care about her. Her mother also prioritized Sara's feelings towards Oliver, so.

21\. What kind of future life and family are they expecting? Will asexuality affect their expectations or future opportunities for a family? Do they want children? Genetic or adopted?   
Do they want a romantic partner or not? Are they open to polyamory?  
She wanted to have a life with Oliver. Get married, have a career, probably kids. She briefly thought about a future with Tommy, but I'm not sure how stable she found the 2 of them so I don't know how far she considered their future. She has so much love to give that she probably would have wanted to adopt with they couldn't have their own. She would have been a loving stepmother to William. But now in canon she's dead so.

22\. Do they have internalized anti-asexual prejudice?  
She does think that there is something wrong with her, which is why people always leave her, that she wasn't enough for Oliver, so I think some of that does lead to internalized issues with being demi.  
23\. Have they ever experienced anti-asexual prejudice? What form did it take and how did it affect them?  
Being cheated on by their partner. Expected to be dating by friends. Nothing overt, I guess.   
24\. In particular, have they ever experienced bullying, sexual harassment, corrective rape, date rape, pathologization, misaimed homophobia, social anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or stigma related to their asexuality?  
Probably some stigma.  
25\. Have they experienced other kinds of anti-LGBT+ prejudice? (Homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic and trans* asexual people are especially at risk, but even hetero-romantic asexuals can be targeted by misaimed homophobia.)  
Probably not.  
26\. How does asexuality interact with their gender identity, if at all?  
Hm, as a white cis woman, there is probably certain amount of purity stuff about her feelings about sex. IDK, need to think about this.  
27\. If male, do they feel less masculine, mature, or socially successful because they are asexual? Do others perceive them that way?  
\----  
28\. If female, are they particularly affected by compulsory sexuality, sexual objectification, and rape culture?  
Yes. Complicated stuff, need to think more. Maybe rewatch for canon stuff.   
29\. If they are trans*, or have a non-binary gender, do other people wrongly conflate their sexuality and gender identities?  
\----  
30\. Are they out of the closet about being asexual? To what degree, and to whom?  
To Sara, definitely. Possibly Tommy. To Oliver when he comes back. Thea absolutely knows. Also, Nyssa. Maybe she tried to tell Joanna, or maybe she didn't, need to mull on that.  
31\. Do they have a support network of friends or family they can talk to about asexuality?  
Probably not. She can talk to Sara somewhat, but Nyssa and Thea are the only proper friends she can talk to about it. And maybe even then not much, since I'm not sure how much she needs to. idk

32\. Does asexuality affect what kinds of social events, hobbies, or work they can partake in? (For instance, an aromantic asexual may not want to go somewhere where people will frequently try to hit on them, like a nightclub; a homoromantic asexual may not feel comfortable in a conservative church.)  
She does not go out much but she does have to socialize because of her work, so she can do that and she can dress up for that. There are some uncomfortable getting hit on that comes with that, but she endures it.

33\. Does asexuality affect how they speak? Do they avoid using words like “sexy” or “hot” which might be misinterpreted as sexual? Do they feel awkward when other people discuss sexual topics?

Not really.


End file.
